fuu~
a lonely night.. totally no one at home.. =/ no one to chit chat with, no one to accompany me see the moon.. hai~ *can't even see the moon from my hse's corridor.. damn*
actually i said nt gonna blog for one month right.. but tonite, my feeling is very messed up althou i tried very hard to stay happy and calm.. hai~ only can come to blog and throw everything out =C
feel kinda... left out today..
being disappointed is a very very very bad thing.. it's one of the worst thing on earth..
Love is blind...? take a cloth, blindfold yourself and then go love someone..
i just wanna tel you, you're the best person on earth who can make me cry and raise hell.. if the connection was super damn bad and i can't get connect to internet ytd, nothing would had happen i guess.. my fault agen eh i guess?
woman requires a man to understand her, unfortunately, all man say they dunno WTH a woman is thinking.. +reverse arguement too.. fuala~ i'm F up now..
left out? not left out? left out? not left out? left out? not left out? left out? yea.. i am left out..
wat to do.. do my own thing, pass da time myself, drink de tea myself, see the sky myself, emo myeslf.. love myself is the best..
tat time i really dun wan to go back to kuching.. but now, the feeling of going back is so urging.. i wanna leave this sad place, put everything down and start a new life.. i am excited to live in a new master bed room and have new friends.. so.. peeps, you all think i should start study in jan or april?? jan, nt enuf rest le.. april.. hai.. alone at home make me emo nia.. LOL.. God owes has a plan for me ;) cheers~
dun wan emo liao..
so kns..!!*currently, 0.000000001% mis you and 99.9999999% hate you like WTS*
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
hey peeps~ actually i planned to update my blog.. but well, due to laziness and exam is coming up soon.. lazypig officially announced that.. she wil stop blogging for two months! sorry =S i love ejun *she requested this :D*
Friday, August 21, 2009
a cold and lonely night.. *nose traffic jam x.x*
:) or :S ??
haha~
neh.. used to it liao~
haven't been blogging for... ermm.. about few days??
no more emo~ cos i am tired of being emo.. just make me got white hair T_T today ah jun darling pulled out two strains of whitish/silver-ish hair.. sob sob~
recently, i broke down due to too stress =S tat day, i cried in the teachers' office.. *i know.. very pai seh x_X* i actually really tried very hard to control, but well~ hmm hmm~ i am a weak girl and i easily broke into a flood of tears.. at that very moment, i just realised.. i am actually so stress and F up about my studies.. i thought i can manage it.. but hehe.. i actually can't.. but thanks to all the teachers that approached me.. Teacher S, Teacher Y, Teacher K, Teacher M.. thanks for their comfort and i finally can overcome it.. Tat day, i realised how loving and caring my teachers are.. i was really very touched that day *even till now, when i am typing this post, i cried...i really appreciate them* The way they patted softly on my shoulder, conforting me and stop me from crying, and how willing they are to help me.. I... not just respect them, bt love them too as a very very dear friend.. i really don't know how to express my gratitude to them.. =S I LOVE YOU TEACHERS!!! ^^" *sorry Teacher M that i broke your heart :D sorry!!* and i wanna really wanna say a special thanks to a very special teacher who is so supportive and understand my feelings, even look through my eyes.. only she saw the stress i was having, and the pain i am enduring.. teachers... i really.. love you all...
no matter how far i go, i will always remember you all, for guiding me through the times i am really very helpless and lost my direction =) 我会勇敢面对挫折，绝对不会被它们击倒！！
well, i really damn wanna complain sth in blog blog.. but sight.. not to waste my precious time on these useless and Sking matters ;) enjoy life dude xD
lalala~ i have a joke to share with those who are able to read chinese! xD
有一天，小牛哭着冲回家。牛爸爸看到小牛如此，便问他发生了什么事。
小牛说：“刚刚我去了小鸡。要回家时，小鸡和它的家人，甚至全村子的鸡，都追着我，骂我，想打我。”
牛爸爸便好奇地问："你是不是欺负小鸡呢？还是你偷了他的东西？”
小牛回答说:"没有啊~ 我只是在回家前，我……………………………………”
now! can you guess what the little cow cow said which led him almost got beaten up?? *ans will be at end of post =D*
i checked my mail just now and i received a very cute, yet meaningful email from ah mok.. i really like it and i think, it's good that i share them with you all =D
lalala~
lazypig is very lazy now.. she is sleepy >.<" now, i shall end the post with the answer... the answer is.... 小牛回答说:"没有啊~ 我只是在回家前，我对他们说，小鸡BYE, 母鸡BYE, 公鸡BYE，全部鸡BYE!! ”
*read it out and get what i mean?? xD*
funny kah?? *cold wind blow by.. and the gagak drop a tahi on your head :S*
BLA BLA BLU BLU~~
bye bye!!! will be back after second trial?? :D* and selamat hari raya puasa!! May your God bless you all ;D*no longer need you to kill my loneliness*
Sunday, August 16, 2009
现在拥有的快乐只是短暂的……
我也不明白为何我们还要勉强,让彼此那么难过……
the trust between us is fading away, and it is tearing us apart..
trying to ignore everything will be alright but i can't..
trying to let go but it hurts, trying to love but it hurts too..
can you tell me what to do now?????????????
this feeling has haunted me for days.. and it upset me for days... i can't take it anymore..
i am tired..
don't you???
Saturday, August 15, 2009
hmmm~
don't know what i can do to make myself feel better.. i off and dumped my phone to dunno where.. eat one bar of huge tolberone, eat maggi mee, pin up my hair, came to blog.. because my body is currently with overflowing of emo hormones and moody hormones =/ who cares~
my saturday night shouldn't be like this =(
why i am owes emo... this gonna be an emo blog liao.. sigh..
i am pissed off, sad and SHIT =S
first of all.. i am quite or very very =( because she don't let me go to kk with frens after my o level.. i don't know why she just can't let me spend my last few weeks with friends.. it's just few days difference.. does it really matter?? i really wonder how grown up think? sighh~ just 5 days nia.. does it really matter a lot??
second, stupid cambridge.. 11 nov chemistry 1&2 noon chinese 1&2, next day A MATHS 1 AND COMMERCE!! how can i study? walao eh.. i think that night i probably will be pulling my hair or temporary emotionally breakdown =S shit.. commerce and a maths le... now i feel a bit regret i took commerce =( sob sob.. stupid stupid stupid and brainless!!!
third, the Fking relative velocity.. i was about to cry in my tuition when i was doing this chapter.. hell, i really don't know what is going on with this chapter.. especially when it is linked to physics *my poorest science of all* GIRLS HATE PHYSICS!@()@$&^*@%&@#$^# i really wanna give up on this chapter liao.. sob sob..
sigh~
is it that a girl or boy get jealous is normal? or is it bad? sometimes, i really cannot stop myself from thinking a lot or even get jealous.. i even feel that i am very selfish for keeping him with me.. don't i? i am about to leave soon, why don't i just let him go so someone better can cheer him up or make him happier?
明明知道后果不会是好的，为什么还要逞强在一起？
我们一直以为的幸福，只是未来的痛苦……
i really hate life being so unfair.. let him go, i say no, let him come back, i say no.. =( just spam my tagboard and tel me i sux.. sob sob..
wonder why this world was initially created to be unfair? i did a little servay and asked few of my frens what is the most most unfair thing in this world..
ms.happx: why some people eat so many don't get fat whereas some eat so many and gain a lot of weight..
ms.J: man and woman are very unequal.. because man can't feel what is it being a woman. woman suffer a lot, especially the nine months =/
ms.A: why some people's life is so happy whereas some don't..
ms.L: human rights..
me: why people can't live equally =( why there is judgement every where?
of all, i really agree with ms.J. NO MAN can't truly feel what a woman feel during the nine months.. the vomitting, the nausea, unable to sleep ar night, the pain to suffer, the tears to shed, stress, emotional disturbance.. no man can really feel it.. this is why most child stick to their mother rather than the father.. xD i love to stick around with my dad.. wahahha~
this world will be far more better if man and woman can give birth too :D imagine a man have a baby.. haha~ imagine the way a man screaming when he was about to give birth.. hahaha~
sigh~ jun, i miss you =) i realise sometimes i miss her too.. haha~ she's my forever darling =D only she can cheer me up when i am down in school.. i love her ^^
bla bla bla~ EMO hormones are gone now.. feeling better.. =)
don't know what to say now.. just.. stay cool and happy..hehe
sorry readers.. i know you all know me well from all my posts.. you all shud know i owes emo a lot :S sorry..
gtg~ back to study =D*i hate you right now*
Saturday, August 8, 2009
call me EMO or watsoever.. i'm just so moody and in the pits.. hmm~
life is just so miserable during this F moment =/ no one to talk to, no one who can listen to me.. there is one.. my very dear fren.. but i dun want to disturb her.. now i only realise my life will be so quiet if i lost all my frens.. especially her and her and her.. =( i mis her lots... how i wish she is now beside me and tell me everything will be ok... i need you now :(
sometimes, i reali dunno why i wanna make my life so miserable, so complicated!! but mayb a human is born to live a complicated life? the so called L-I-F-E? i wonder, is it i am the only one who can't avoid being moody or emo???? Is it most people tend to be optimistic and i am the only who is very damn pessimistic and can't pul myself out from the pits?? damn! i really hate myself being so S now...
tat day, someone say i am sensitive.. yes.. i am 100% sensitive to all positive and negative things.. i mind a lot bout how ppl feel and the way they are looking at me.. if you give me just one sad smile or a fiery eyes, i will start to think a lot and making lots of assumptions.. see? i am just so S sometimes.. if i was in the scene or ard you, talking with you before you gave me sth negative, i will feel i did sth wrong and i start to feel guilty.. sigh~ my weakness: i don't know how to fight back, i scare people get angry of me, i can't stop being negative.. and so so so many more..
i am the most imperfect of the imperfect.. don't tell me no one is perfect.. there is.. just not TOTALLY perfect..
i am sorry.. i couldn't make you happy.. i only know how to make you angry.. this is all i can do for you.. i'm sorry.. i really wanna stay so far away from you and cry myself to sleep because i really don't want to hurt you anymore.. i am a stupid, a S-ker, a nerdy..... i can make you angry but i can't lose you... tell me how stupid i am???
少了一份关怀，少了一份信任，少了一点疼爱，我有了全世界又如何？
sorry i sucks in this post..
say me as you like..
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
a random post today? =D
after three days back to normal class, quite ok~ results were great :D but i can do better than this! hehe~
just very *sigh* with the badly polluted air here.. it's hazy everywhere~ I have been thinking of wearing a mask(due to the very very unpleasant smell of the air) when i walk to school but i feel it's kinda weird weird de if i wear one =S I DON'T KNOW!! T_T mayb i will wear one tomorrow.. the situation worsen everyday.. The sun is getting more orangy!! hais~ when can it rain?!!!
these days i am extremely tired.. don't know why.. =S i love to sleep very very much.. even fall asleep when chatting with dear dear.. sob sob~ didn't study much too.. oh oh x_X having commercial studies test on monday!! so many topics to study T_T
so many people walk in and out of my life.. but those who left valuable and memorable footsteps are just those.. I really hope i can have this kind of friends for life.. but everytime our friendship blossom, den we start to lose communication and this very special friendship just slipped away like that.. sometimes, once friendship deepens, then problems arise. People tends to say, the more closer the very best friends get together, the more problem wil happen.. So hard to build a friendship, so hurt to let it go.. but i believe, once a friend, forever will be friend. sometimes, we really should try to repair the broken friendship.. We really shouldn't ignore the broken friendship and pretend everything will be fine, and even give many many alasan to put it aside.. The one who is willing to make the first step is the one who live their life to the fullest.. Saying a sorry even though you are not wrong is hard, but if you really love that friend and still wanna be friends.. we should try making the first move, and continue to move on until the person realise everything.. This is what i learnt from 生命知见工作坊. Choose the best friends and let go the one who isn't best for you.. Friends are everywhere, just depend how we choose.. =)
don't know why i am saying all these o ji pa la things.. but i believe this happens in everyone life,in every stages of life.. TOPIC CLOSED..
SOB SOB.. i have to study A level next year in kuching.. last time mami owes say A level so waste time, so firm told me must not study A level.. but now.. hais~ but no choice o.. If i wanna study in IMU, i need to have A level certificate.. HAIS~ i will join the april intake.. first three months, GET LICENSE and get a part time job!! woohoo~
planning to score the top this year and dig something from my parents and brothers =D planning to change phone.. either SATIO or W995! and get a laptop!! hahaha~ demanding too much? NO WAY!! i am studying very hard.. wakaka~ daddy! prepare your big big red packet with many money inside first o~ your girl wanna dig dig dig... wakkaka!
satio.. quite Elegant.. i like the red color.. 12.1-megapixel camera with Xenon flash and intuitive touch focus. WAH SEHH!!! haha~
W995.. quite nice~ but it looks a bit similar to an old version of sony phone.. forgot wat model it is.. hehe~
W995 vs Satio!! hahaa~lalala~ dream too much, think too much.. HAHAHA
till here den!! so lazy now.. haha~
bye bye!!*never wan you to be hurt <3*
